Okay, so I am 13 years old in case anyone was wondering. So my mom was raped when she was 13 by a guy who was 18 who went to her school (she’s 39 years old now) and I know a lot about him (I researched and everything) so now she found out 4 years ago when we moved to the home we currently live in now that he lives a mile away…so she wanted to move but my step dad didn’t want to since we had just bought the house. SO then the guy who raped her ended up being the landscaper for out backyard, and she had to cancel all of it but anyways now she ran into him at a bank and now she won’t leave the house and my mom has a lot of problems caused by that and by my father not wanting me when I was born and things that have happened which have made her who she is today (scared, home 24/7, all in my business & has to know all my passwords to everything) she’s super protective over me, and she thinks I’m a bad kid and that I’m out doing bad things when I’m really not… and she has a myspace with a fake picture that’s not her and in all her status’s on her twitter she posts that she’s out having fun and all these status’s that she’s on a bike trail and just doing stuff when really she just sits at home…all day on her laptop hiding behind her fake profiles. She’s gained a lot of weight in the past 10 years so she’s self conscience about herself and I was just curious why she would do that and she spys on my facebook and asks me about everything, and she never listens to me when I try to talk to her, she cusses me out a LOT, and recently she’s become worse. I don’t know what to do, I’m almost 14 but I still have 4 more years of this and she tells me all the time she hates me, and that she’s embarrassed I’m her child. We’re moving soon to a new house away from her old rapist but she skipped school and got drunk and then the guy raped her so she’s not all that innocent…. she was only 13 when she did it too. But her problems have effected the way she’s raised me. As a child growing up, I remember every birthday all I wished for was that my mom would love me and actually hug me and say she cared about me. But she lied to me for 9 years saying my step dad was my father then now I’m banned from seeing my father (I met him once when I was at the age of 12) and I don’t get to hangout with friends often because she doesn’t like to leave the house (she complains everyday after she picks me up that I should be greatful she actually takes time to pick me up from school) Time from what? Being at home in her pajamas all day on her laptop? My step dad doesn’t have any say in any decision they make in their "marriage" when he pays for everything, and when he gets home from work she goes on and on and on about her drama (which is nothing) and he doesn’t like to live like this. She nags me and my step dad constantly and screams at us, and she’s fine to be around for a little while but then she’s your worst nightmare. She is so in my business (which every mom should be a little) but she goes to the extreme and she even hacked into my best friend’s facebook to see my facebook profile! My friend thinks my mom’s crazy now, and I’m not sure what to do….she’s VERY hard to talk to about things. (I know she has several mental illnesses, as my counselor told me and she recommended me a book called trapped in a mirror to understand how my mother is which I read). But, just know if you’re going to suggest that I talk to her…she won’t admit she has a problem and she lied about having fake pictures on her twitter and then screamed at me for "spying on her" SO what should I do? I think I should just stick it out until I’m 18 and just continue getting good grades so I can get a scholarship but does anyone have any other suggestions? It has become MUCH MUCH worse even this past month to where she’s become paraniod that everyone is out to get her (she’s always been that way) yet she convinces herself she’s perfect (she says so) what to do? Please help.
what do you mean by step my step to the mail box…?
And we did counseling for a while 2 years ago together but she wouldn’t come with me anymore, so now I just go alone.
Someone tried to break into our home 2 nights ago, and I was awake to hear it (my mom and step dad were asleep) I think it was her rapist because he drives by our house occasionally. I feel like I need to stay up until 3am to make sure I can go to sleep and have nothing happen (him break in) someone has attempted to (we are almost certain it’s him) so I’m not sure why my mom isn’t more concerned than she is. I receive good grades, but with the stress I have through her it’s complex to concentrate during exams/tests/homework. Her problems become my problems, and so on. I don’t want it to be like that, and when I try to discuss counseling together, or discuss my feelings towards her not ever showing she loves me she either laughs, or she says that I’m just upset about my father and I am taking it out on her. Which isn’t true, but she won’t believe that.
My mom's rapist has caused her to be the way she is?
By admin in twitter for business
Jul
8
Comments
those are terrible things to say but she went through something pretty traumatic. she doesnt mean it. be nice.
My mom is the same way aside from being paranoid after my little brother passed she acted like that it sounds like your mom has depression like my mom had.. maybe you can talk to someone or counseling together?
EDIT
try talking to her, tell her you love her so much, i think she needs you right now..
you’re so young, sorry about your problems..
if you cant do anything just cope til you can leave
Just take her out step my step to the mail box etc.
Wow i read the whole thing.
thats so interesting how the rapist lives close! but all u have to do is pretend u are ur mom. u would be afraid too! just tell ur mom u love her no matter how much she hates u. she needs love and care right now
i would definetly get good grades and hope that u move out once ur 18. Try to comfort ur mom and have her realize that ur not a bad kid. Don’t anger ur mpm in any way or form or things could get ugly as i had experienced from my mom.
wow, that must be REALLY tough. you sound like a good kid, really intelligent and mature for a 13 year old. and you obviously care very much about your mom. she SHOULD be very proud of you, but it sounds like she just has too much going on in her mind to see how she is making you feel. i’m sure that she does love you very much, and that is part of the reason why she is so over-protective.
it is very sad what happened to your mom… but it’s not normal or healthy for either one of you that she tells you about it. you’re only 13! you should be enjoying life, not feeling your mom’s pain about something that happened to her a long time ago. it sounds like she never found a way to get past it emotionally, which some people have more trouble with than others, but she cannot make excuses for the way she is affecting you and your step dad. she needs to get help for herself so that it is not a part of her day, every day, for the rest of her life. otherwise she will never be happy.
i think she probably needs to get some counselling. whether or not that happens, you really need to focus on yourself, and realize that you are a good person and your mom just has some really bad issues that have nothing to do with you.
focus on school, get good grades so that you can go to a good college and be able to take good care of yourself later in life, make friends with healthy, normal people, and stay away from anybody that makes you feel bad about yourself. sometimes people get so used to the craziness of their families, that they look for it in other places because it’s all they know – don’t make that mistake, you are obviously much better than that! if you can, find a teacher or some responsible adult that you feel comfortable talking to about all of this, it would probably help.
take care and good luck.